10.09.2014

my mom

Today it has been 6 years since my mom lost her battle to lung cancer. I remember the day like it was yesterday. We had hospice at the house and were as prepared as we could be. My sister, dad and I were all there, along with my aunts and cousin. I had walked away for a few minutes of quiet time to my room and had the song "I Can Only Imagine" playing when my aunt called to tell me it was "time."  I am thankful that she went peacefully and that we were there. 

When my best friend's dad died unexpectedly last month, she asked me "when does it feel real?" and it broke my heart and took my breath away. Because honestly, some days, it still doesn't feel real. I told Dave yesterday sometimes, not often, I forget she is gone. Just little moments here and there, where I think about her or calling her and then I have to remember she is gone. And at my best friend's dad's funeral they played "I Can Only Imagine" and it made me remember that night so clearly and feel like I was right back there. I know that my mom welcomed him to Heaven with a huge hug and they are both there together, looking down on us. 

To read about my sister's experience visit her blog here.  She mentions the support from her husband Allen and to this day I am still so incredibly thankful for Allen's role in our lives at this time.  He wasn't just there for Josie, he was there for me and my dad. He was such a rock to our family--and still is.  I feel very blessed to have him in my family.

Like my sister, I spoke to my mom constantly. Now we didn't always get along or see eye to eye. I could definitely be a pain. But I did feel like I could tell her anything. We were very honest with one another. She was fun and loving, caring and smart. She was one of a kind and such an amazing mom. I wish I had let her know that more often. She touched so many lives.

I am incredibly grateful of the time I did have with my mom. I wish it had been longer...I wish she could have met Dave and seen us get married. I wish she would meet my children one day. But I can't change all of that...I just try to be thankful for what I do have.

I am thankful that she has inspired me to be the person that I am today. My mom was a talented artist, painter, DIY-er and so much more. I swear I can't draw a picture to save my life, but I guess I got some part of her creative gene that has gifted me the ability to do what I love- make jewelry. I wish she was here to help me, I sure could use her help!!


 

some of my favorite piece's of my mom's 

3 comments:

  1. Your mom's work is beautiful (both the art and you).

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  2. Love this… couldn't read it yesterday because it was a bit hard…. I am so glad you started jewelry to carry on mom's artistic side!!! Love you!

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  3. What a sweet post! Just hearing I Can Only Imagine makes me tear up, it's such a beautiful song. I can't imagine what it feels like to lose a parent. Thank god you have your sister and dad just to be there for each other. You mom was a beautiful painter! You must of gotten your artistic side from her!

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